Santa Clause Probably Isn't Coming To Town This Year - Or Ever
I’ve had my fair share of drama in life but waking up to see Santa get run over by a (lot of) reindeer was not how I expected my night to go. I was just in the middle of my 74 ½ step nighttime skin care routine when I head the loudest thud on my roof. I wasn’t surprised considering the fact that I live in a shady neighborhood where kids play with crocodiles, so I just assumed it was one of those strange events. Until the sound started moving towards my chimney. Now, if that was actually a croc, I didn’t want it in my house. So, I did what any sensible person would – I ran outside, took off one of my shoes to throw at those little gremlins, and lo behold what do I see? A fat man in a red suit, looking like he just escaped prison, trying to fit into my chimney and right above him, levitating like they were possessed, 8 reindeer and a sleigh. Like any reasonable person would, I demanded the man come down to have a quick chat about trespassing. Now this is where things get a little confusi...